1) MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THAN THE EMPLOYEES You will always see this kind of manager in the corridor, ten steps away. "We need to talk" they’ll say, just as they disappear around the corner.
2) MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW You usually meet managers like this with their backside facing you and their hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, they just keep staring out of the window.
3) MANAGING BY POST-IT NOTES Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their 'busy-ness’ by continuously writing on Post-Its® while you are talking.
4) MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE SECRETARY These managers just delegate everything to their secretary.
5) MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING These managers really don't know anything at all. They let YOU give the answers. Meanwhile they fill the time with irrelevant anecdotes.
6) MANAGING BY CONCEPTUAL THINKING Some managers try to explain the present from a theoretical view of the far future. They like doing this because although it is plainly ridiculous it means they will always have something to talk about.
7) MANAGING BY HIDING INFORMATION Some managers know the market value of information that is kept secret. You are very thankful to get any information at all.
8) MANAGING BY DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE BOSS SAYS These managers prevent their employees from thinking creatively: otherwise they would have more work to do.
9) MANAGING BY WALKING ONE FOOT BEHIND THE BOSS In hierarchical organizations you can watch groups of managers walking in the corridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the less equal managers, and so on.
10) MANAGING BY SMILING AND WEARING NICE SUITS If you drink beer with them, lunch with them, smile to them and also wear nice suits, nothing can stop your career any more.
11) MANAGING BY STUDYING Despite their continual attendances at all kind of studies and congresses, they still belong to category 5. The longer they learn, the further they get from practice.
12) MANAGING BY CREATING VAGUE OVERHEAD SHEETS Do you know them? Those sheets containing big arrows, boxes or circles? These overhead charts provide the ultimate proof of a manager’s overall brilliance.
13) MANAGING BY OPEN DOOR AND EMPTY ROOM This is a major improvement on the older 'OPEN DOOR' management style. Now you can really walk in and out anytime you want: nobody ever knows where these managers are anyway because they’re certainly not in the office.
14) MANAGING BY SPEAKING WITH OTHER MANAGERS This kind of managing is very popular. Within the space of a few hours this method of networking will give a manager exactly the same information as an employee could have told them in 5 minutes.
15) MANAGING BY HAVING A NON SUPPORTING INFRASTRUCTURE In an organization with a hopeless infrastructure, managers are really necessary. These managers will naturally prevent the organization from having a better infrastructure.
16) BUA MANAGEMENT (BY USING ABBREVIATIONS) This management style is ATRASACWOC (Adopted To Reach A Shorter And Clearer Way Of Communication).
17) MANAGING BY USING BUZZ WORDS These managers like to bluff your head off with hip, meaningless terms.
18) MANAGING BY REORGANIZATION If a manager thinks there is nothing more to organize, they’ll reorganize.
19) MANAGING BY BELIEVING This type of manager must be spiritually-inspired, because they really don’t have a clue.
20) MANAGING BY FORGETTING PROMISES If you remind a manager about a promise they have made, the priority of that promise is suddenly too low to remember.
